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| I am addicted to the pleasures of the present, so I give almost no considerations for the future.
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| So it's really too bad that I don't fear much. Damn it.
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| Throw away your calendars;
throw away your clocks.
Throw away your watches,
your cell phones, your computers,
your radio, your tv, your newspapers,
your music players, all of it.
Throw away everything that tells you
what time, day, week, month, and year it is.
(Because you may not know it, but)
You can live forever,
if you don't know what time it is.
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| Nobody screws up my opportunities - whether academic, extra-curricular, professional, romantic, whatever - better than I can. I've gotten so good at it that it just comes second nature to me; it's my first instinct to squander away every chance I get. I can't think of a single other person who can mess with my own success worse than me.
That's why I was surprised to learn recently that someone was going to ask me out, but her friends talked her out of it. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that me being on the dating scene for less than 4 months and going on exactly 3 dates was enough for me to have a reputation already.
It's not that I'm mad, sad, or bitter or anything. More amused, really. Her friends could've saved themselves the effort - nobody can sabotage my relationships better than I do. If they wanted her to stay away from me, they had nothing to worry about - her going on one date with me, or just getting to know me a little better, would've probably done the trick. It usually does.
And it's not like my romantic counterparts should be be surprised to learn that I'm a bad idea after the date. It's become kind of my policy to warn people before asking them out or accepting a date from them. I just come out and say it, that I'm a selfish and boring person with warped views on romance, and that I'm a jerk - and not in the exciting and fun way. Because I lie enough in pretty much all other parts of my world, but I'd rather not lie in the romantic arena.
I've waited till after I'm 21 to get in the dating world, even though I don't have any religious hangups, and I'm not exactly repulsively ugly or completely stupid. And nowhere is it easier to get laid or be in a relationship than in college, even in a commuter college like mine. I've had opportunities; if I seriously wanted some, I could've gotten some, through dishonest means or honest means. But I'm taking it at my own pace.
So uh, yeah. Any people concerned about their friend possibly being a romantic encounter of mine and thinking about warning them against me: go ahead, but you don't have to bother. I can probably discourage that person from considering me as a romantic option way better than you can.
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